Let the Madness Begin
by DoomyWingz
Summary: Crack, crack, and more crack. I totally forgot to upload the first chapter-thing when we first wrote it so... None of this is meant to be taken seriously, all the characters are purposely ooc and they come from many different series. Rated M for language and various themes.


K/N: Je suis une pamplemousse.

D/N: You didn't just-

K/N: Didn't just what

D/N: ...Never mind. Let's just write this thing, okay?

K/N: Do we even know what we're gonna write

D/N: Crack man. Let's do this

Kota: WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO THE MADNESS.

Doomy: ...Hi.

Kota: We are here for our own, selfish purposes. Probably.

Doomy: I came for the crack, but I don't see any. When are we gonna write?

Alois: Yeah, when ARE you two going to write?

Doomy: Looks like Kota even brought her rp muse here...

Kota: Damn right I did.

Doomy: *contemplating on whether to do the same or not*

Kota: How about we drop this format and just like, write. Insanity. Like this-

It was a lovely day out. Alois decided that he wanted to frolic through the flowers while throwing stones at small children. But then a horrible werewolf popped out and started twerking at the blond child. It was awful.

In the bushes, a disturbing blue doll was creeping on the little blond brat. It wanted to be Alois' friend for ever and ever. While Alois was distracted by the werewolf's twerking, the doll sneaked up on him and grabbed his leg.

Alois freaked the hell out and did the stanky leg in order to remove the blue doll from his limb. It didn't work, however, and Alois was forced to scream for help. "OH HELP ME, HELP ME!" he cried. It wasn't very manly.

The doll thought Alois was such a crybaby like Not-A-Man-O, but it still wanted to be his friend. " D, Y." it croaked while sounding like a total pedophile.

"HELL NO!" sobbed Alois, shaking his leg harder. "GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY!" But finally, someone had heard his anguished cries. Out of the bushes popped none other than Garry, in all his purple-haired glory. But once he saw the doll, he screamed like a little girl and ran away.

Another person emerged from the bushes next to Garry, and threw a rock at him. Wherever there was a Garry, a Mary would be present to tease the living hell out of him. "YOU'RE SUCH A WEENIE, SEAWEED-HEAD."

"Seaweed-head?" asked another voice, popping out of a tree nearby. Gilbert's hat fell to the ground, which upset him to the point of falling on the ground. After he picked himself and his hat up, he looked around. "Is Alice here somewhere?"

Mary had a look of disgust on her face when Gilbert suddenly appeared. Wow, he sure was shitty-looking. "Do I even KNOW you?" she asked, glaring at him. Mary was grabbing Garry by is ratchet coat as he was trying to run away because he was so scared of a little doll.

"I dunno, who the fuck are you?" Gilbert demanded, not pleased with Mary's tone. Garry, meanwhile, had decided it was better to ditch his coat than hang out around the doll, so he slipped out of it and ran for the hills. Alois was still screaming bloody murder.

"I don't have time for this." Mary hissed, stomping off to remove the doll from Alois' leg. She approached the wailing boy with caution, trying to figure out how she could get the stupid doll without being kicked.

Break took this opportunity to pop out of the ground in a field of flowers. "Heeeeeey, doll-kun, look at me!~" He flailed his arms around and threw candy at squirrels.

Mary sighed and picked up a rock. "Fuck this waiting shit. I need to get this stupid doll back in the gallery." she said, and then threw the rock at Alois' head. It was tragically beautiful.

A rock to the noggin is the surest way to knock a distressed boy out. Alois collapsed to the ground almost instantly. "Oooooooooh, SHE KILLED HIM. THE LITTLE GIRL KILLED THE LITTLE BOY." Gilbert shrieked, running around like a toddler high on sugar. "POLICE, WHERE ARE THE POLICE?"

Gilbert acting like some sort of crack-head really pissed Mary off. He pissed her off so much that she threw a rock at his head as well.

Rocks seemed to enjoy flying, Gilbert thought just before one collided with his skull. Luckily for him, his hat was reinforced with titanium, so he was unharmed. "FLYING ROCKS. THE SUREST SIGN OF ALIENS INVADING EARTH! I MUST GO WARN THE CITY!" With that, Gilbert sprouted wings, ran over to Break, picked the white-haired man up, and flew off to go tell the police about the alien rocks.

Finally. Now Mary could retrieve the ugly doll and run for the hills. She went to grab the doll from Alois' leg, and also take his wallet. "Hahahahaha now I can buy some fandom merchandise at Hot Topic!~" she said happily as she frolicked through the flowers with the boy's wallet and her doll.

Suddenly, from behind a tree, a shadowy figure appeared. Gosh, he was cool. Probably the coolest anime character to ever exist. Sasuke Uchiha. His arms were crossed over his chest in that douchey way of his, and he glanced over at the blonde girl dancing through the daisies. "Yo," he called, just loud enough to be heard.

When she heard Sasuke's loud, douchey voice, Mary dropped the bass and tackle-glomped him. "SAAAAAAAASSUUUKKEEEEEEEEEE! OH MY GOD IT'S REALLY YOU!" she shrieked at the top of her painted lungs like the closet Sasuke fangirl she was.

Sasuke slid out of the way just before Mary could glomp him, which made her faceplant on the tree. "Sorry, chicka. I'm already in hot yaois with Naruto. But here, you can have my autograph if you want." He took a dark blue sharpie out of his pocket and wrote his name on Mary's forehead, before twirling off like a ballerina.

Mary fainted and she looked like she was dead. Being dead runs in the Guertena family. Marion popped out of nowhere and scurried over to the flower field to get Alois' wallet like the little shit he was. Just then, the doll grabbed his arm and yelled "SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING! G!"

Alois awoke to a missing wallet and probable head trauma. Hearing the Doll's horrifying voice had snapped him out of what might have been a coma, actually. He stood up unsteadily, before looking around for his wallet. "My wallet, my wallet is missing! I can't go shopping without my wallet!" A Pikachu heard Alois' pitiful creys, and leapt out of the bushes to assist.

A bomb went off somewhere in the distance, and the nature terrorist was the one and only Uryuu Minene. Yukki creyed like a little baby water fountain while Yuno shot the sheriff in the most Bob Marley way possible.

"Pika-pi?" Pikachu asked, which roughly translates to 'Where's the weed?'. But Alois didn't speak Pokemon, so he opened up a briefcase that was conveniently lying around and pulled out N. The green haired Pokefan was horribly confused, but freaked out when he saw that the forest was beginning to burn.

The smell of smoke woke Mary up from her fangirl coma. She started shrieking like a banshee because she was a fucking painting. "THIS. GIRL. IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE" she sang while being horribly off-key.

Taking advantage of the chaos, Pikachu made off with Alois' wallet to feed his drug addiction. N ran around, screaming about how all the Pokemon who lived in the forest were going to be homeless if they didn't put the fire out, and Alois gave up on everything and went home. The forest would have been destroyed, if not for the appearance of one man. His name: Crona.

To celebrate Crona's victory, everyone had a party at Kid's house. There was twerking, food, internet, and karaoke; it was a beautiful moment. Even Mary and Marion decided to show up and be little shits by singing a horribly sung duet version of 'Don't Stop Believing'. That part was tragic.

Crona wasn't even entirely sure what he did to put the fire out. He kinda just... showed up and the fire stopped. But he was pretty happy with himself, so he decided that he deserved a reward. "Bring me ALL the bitches," he requested to nobody in particular.

"No! My bitch! Get your own!" Marion said angrily while tightly hugging Ib. Mary kicked him for being an obnoxious little shit and grabbed Ib. "Ib is my friend you little shit! Get your grubby hands off of her!"

"WELL, ALL YA'LL BELONG TO ME NOW, SO LISTEN UP!" Gaara screeched from the top of his lungs, standing on the balcony. "I DEMAND PIZZA, HOT CHICKS, AND HAWAIIAN PUNCH. AND NONE OF THAT GREEN OR BLUE SHIT. THE RED STUFF. THE OTHER STUFF SHOULDN'T EVEN BE UNDER THE SAME BRAND NAME."

All of the Survival Game contestants huddled together and sang "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo" in perfect harmony, which only led to them being shot down by Guertena. "NOW WHO'S THE DEAD MAN? NOT ME."

All hope seemed lost at this point, if not for Fairy Tail. Gray, Natsu, Erza and Lucy busted through the wall and beat the ever-loving shit out of Guertena, successfully killing him. "This time, Guertena will STAY fucking dead," Natsu said, giving a thumbs up. "Aye!" Happy chirped.

You know who else was fucking dead? Death the Kid. When the members of the Fairy Tail guild busted through his wall, it made his whole house asymmetrical. It was so horrible that Kid fell to the ground and gave up on life. It was still a better love story than Twilight.

Kota: WOAAAAAAAAAAH I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR DEAD FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BRO.

Doomy: This ain't reality. It's a goddamn Disney movie.

Kota: So if this is a Disney movie, does that mean that Kid can be revived with a Death the Kiss?

Doomy: I have no fucking clue what that is, but okay.

Kota: Death the Kiss Kiss Fall in Love.

Seeing a tragedy in THEIR crack story was unacceptable, so Kota swooped in from a rope tied to a chandelier and landed by the recently deceased reaper. She threw glitter in the air, to make the scene more anime, and planted a big ol kiss on Kid's lips, before running away out the door because self-inserts are typically frowned upon.

Missing the whole dramatically anime scene, Deandra walked out of the bathroom without washing her hands. The bathroom now smelled like shit and it was all her fault.

"WHERE'S MY HAWAIIAN PUNCH?" GAARA SCREECHED. "AND WHY DOES THE PLACE SMELL LIKE SHIT ALL OF A SUDDEN?" He jumped down from the banister and landed in front of Deandra. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Who the fuck are YOU?" she replied in all her sassy glory.

"I ASKED YOU FIRST!"

"I ASKED YOU SECOND."

"What the fuck is going on?" Sasuke asked, coming from the hot yaois corner. "And what's with all the glitter? ...and why hasn't somebody gotten Gaara some damned Hawaiian Punch? Lord knows he won't shut up until he does."

Ib watched all of the commotion around her, being quiet like usual. But when she saw Sasuke, she decided to confront him and step on his foot. "DONE WITH YOUR SHIT. I'M DONE WITH IT YOU FUCKING DOUCHE-MUFFIN."

"HEY, THAT'S MY HUSBANDO!" Naruto shrieked, shoving Ib down a flight of stairs. "LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU CRAZY BITCH!"

"IT KEEPS HAPPENING!" Ib cried out as she tumbled down the steps.

"I warned you about the stairs, bro," Dave said, sipping Hawaiian Punch. "I told you, dog." It was only a matter of time before everyone fell victim to the stairs. Eventually, the whole world would be consumed by stairs. "Why the fuck am I drinking this shit instead of AJ?"

Kid, now alive and fully awake, unleashed the dogs on everyone. "GTFO YOU ASYMMETRICAL SHITS." Everyone panicked and ran away, leaving Kid's house a mess. But who cares? Kid has a bunch of servants anyways.

Gaara remained, near tears. "Why didn't I get any Hawaiin Punch...?" he whispered. We just don't know, Gaara. We just don't know.

Fin.

Characters

Alois- Black Butler  
Mary, Ib, Garry, Doll, Guertena, Marion (Mary's genderbend)- Ib

Gilbert, Break- Pandora Hearts

Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara- Naruto

Crona, Kid- Soul Eater

Deandra- The Most Popular Girls in School

Yukki, Yuno, Uryuu- Mirai Nikki

Pikachu, N- Pokemon

Natsu, Gray, Erza, Happy, Lucy- Fairy Tail  
Dave- Homestuck


End file.
